This is Quite the Story...

WARNING: If you have a sensitive gag reflex - do not read this post. Now, while this story depicts something quite miserable and embarrassing, I really think everyone else might find amusement in it. So I didn't feel so hot when I got home from work today. I was hungry but nothing sounded good and I was exhausted from being up since 6am (ps if you know me, it's rare for me to be awake when the time starts with an 8, let alone a 6). So I assumed my usual bump on a log position on the couch while Barry made dinner- a Howson ritual these days. So anyway, I wasn't feeling good but tried to eat some rice so I wouldn't get sick. About 6 bites in, I put it down because it wasn't going too well. Now here comes the good part. I dry heave- and it turns out its not so dry. So I'm running to bathroom puking in my hands (literally) and I barely make it to the bathroom door and I projectile all over the bathroom. So much so that I slide barefoot in my own puke to get in front of the toilet.  Ridiculous. Thank goodness my hair was up because with my hands covered in puke they were unavailable to hold it back. Barry runs to the bathroom and in between heavings I'm yelling "Don't come in here! It's all over the floor!" So what does he do? He leaves me puking and goes to get a mop, bucket, rags, and bathroom cleaner stuff. So I finish my business and I stand up to survey the damage. Wow. I have literally covered the floor, the toilet seat, behind the toilet, and the wall next to the toilet. So while I'm standing there (in it) looking at a bathroom painted with fresh rice and a blue popsicle- I start crying. Barry is standing at the doorway, mop in hand and rubber gloves on and I'm standing in puke crying like an irrational pregnant woman. What's so funny is I wouldn't even let him come in and console me because of the mess on the floor and I couldn't walk out cause my feet are covered in my own regurgitation. So he gets on his knees and wets a rag and wipes my feet off (like Jesus, he says) so I can go clean the vomit chunks off of their landing stations on myself. Yikes. I can't wait to tell this little avocado about the adventures he/she got me into.

On a less gross note - I have scored some major garage sale deals on baby/maternity stuff! I've gotten a boppy, baby bath tub, changing pad, 2 baby blankets, about 30 baby outfits/onesies, 5 maternity shirts, 2 maternity dresses, and 6 pairs of baby socks for $50 total. Man I'm so pumped because the actual having of this child is way more expensive than we thought it would be so it's nice to save some money.

Update on the baby - I'm 16 weeks today and apparently this kid can now pick up my voice. Also, its eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in. And taste buds are forming. (After the above story- it's evident it doesn't like rice) We'll be seeing this action on our first ultrasound 2 weeks from tomorrow.

Stats:
*Baking Time: 16 Weeks
*MIA: Cravings
*Cravings: Nothing ever sounds good.
*Aversions: Almost everything
*Worst symptom: None of my clothes fit.
*Lessons Learned: I now have sensitive lactose intolerance..
 

Oh the joys...

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve written. Frankly the only reason is that I feel so terrible at night that I don’t want to do anything but lay on the couch. But who wants to hear about that-now for a few more interesting updates… Let me take you back to a glorious time-- a time where I could buy dresses from Target in size 2. A time where pants and shorts were held up by buttons not rubberbands. A time where it didn’t take 20 minutes just to find something that fits. Ahhh, those were the days. I’ve gained 4 pounds in the last 4 weeks, though I’m not sure my hips would believe that. While it’s only 4 pounds- I’m convinced that what I already had is relocating itself. I mean there are literal inches between the button and hole on my pants. Is this normal at 14 weeks? Which brings me to the next issue – maternity clothes. Why must they be so expensive? Probably because they know you can’t avoid it forever. I think “them” and gas companies are sharing secrets.

Next: the heartbeat. We heard it. It was weird and swooshy. I thought it would make this whole thing more real and while it did a little bit- I still don’t think it’s hit me that I’m growing a person inside me that I have to push out through a not so big hole and then I’m responsible for it. Like making sure it eats and breathes and stuff. More details on the reality of pregnancy later. The heartbeat was 155. The lady said if it was between 120-170 then we’re good. Then someone told me that a fast heartbeat means it’s a girl. Barry almost spit out his food at dinner when I told him that. I guess only time will tell. 

Stats:
*Baking Time: 14 Weeks
*MIA: Clothes that fit.
*Cravings: Sausage biscuits and Olive Garden
*Aversions: Fried chicken
*Worst symptom: Nighttime nausea.
*Lessons Learned: Don't drink Dr. Pepper at all.